Rumors

People, sorry for not posting this few days. (: I dont have the time to.

Met Jiamin yesterday, like finally k. :D
met her at bukit merah interchange, finally got to see Joshua? laughs.
all the best k, dont wish to see you go in. really.
He left within minutes, bus-ed to tiong with Jiamin? :D
Saw nico, weijie and daryl and arcade there, Talked for awhile?
Ate KFC, walked around. Bought a wallet, met caiyan and bought ticket for High School Musical 3? The show was nice, but alot alot of singings. (:

The showed finished around seven? (: Met vincent awhile, Feng Hui was with him.
It've been long long time since i saw vincent, laughs.
Took train home, watched tevee for awhile. waited for boyf to call, and took bus to his house downstairs? (:

And both of us cab-ed down to safra? :D Meet Isk, Kevin and Leonard. <3
Smoke-ed and we went to eat at block ten. (: Leonard get very happy over lil stuffs, Laughs. Boyf ate and the rest ordered drinks, Isk was joking but the uncle really went to put salt in his Milo, LOL.
Went to slacked at block 23, Isk and Boyf..... I am speechless. Laughs (:

Boyf cab-ed me home then. Reached home around 12 30 am? :D mother just came back home also, -.- like mother like daughter. :D
Boyf haven reply my message till now, dont know what happened. ):


People, I know theres rumors spreading around about me. Choose to believe it or not its your choice. Use your brain people, dont you think it sound so ridiculous? Right, I laugh when I heard that although I know i shouldn't have. :D The person who started this, dont let me find out who you are right? I dont care who are you, I will never take this easy. It doesn't not bother me but it spoil my image you know. :D

Yesterday.
Met boyf at bus stop and we bus-ed to lavender? Because Boyf wanted to buy his Muay Thai stuffs. (: reached thai market. Like what the hell, that thing cost 190. he brought 150 only. ): so, He bought his muaythai pants instead. (:
Cab-ed to cresent, looked for Jason and Kevin. Isk was sleeping at the sofa. :D

Take away drinks and food. Went back and talked again.
Jason has become a pervert since the day he cut his hair. laughs. After awhile, YuanXiang came. Went smoke and talked. :D Ke vin left.
Then we went safra, arcade-ed. :D　ate dinner at block ten.
Boyf, I think we shouldn't hold hands when we are at block ten uh? laughs
Isk off to work. So Jason and YuanXiang took bus home. Boyf cab-ed me home. :D

100 days.

Well, Thanks everyone. (: I know your cares, your give advice that your think is the best for me. I really can't let go, i cant. Because of many reasons? Things are getting slightly better, I will be okay loves.

Proper post start from tomorrow yes? (:

It cut so deep, It hurts down to my soul.

Esther Tan, cheer up. I know you can

So whats with all the things thats happening to me, WHAT.

Everytime when i came back home, I gets nothing but you shouts at me. for nothing.
Yes, so I ran out of the house yesterday. But well, you forced me to go back. I thought you dont care? Morning you called, and asked me whats up with the way i talk to you. WHAT? You are my mother, I know. I didn't took it seriously even when your words hurts me, but I am not always that strong. I am sorry to say this mama, but recently. all sort of things had happened to me, but you didn't care, you didn't talk to me like how you used to. Infact, you made it worst. I know you will never see this, never will.


Boyf, You've lost your feelings. You left when all these stuffs happened to me, I really need you you to give me the unconditional love I used to feel at this point of time. You are the only one, who can let me feel better. I wanted to let you go, but i kept on hanging on. because i know, I can hardly live without you. But whats more, whats more i can do now. You know that the cold treatment was due to all the problem I've been facing lately. You knew, but you wasn't there, at all. You treat me coldly, and you allow your feelings fade like this. Its killing me because there aint a thing i can do.
It've been days since i saw you. It've been days since i had you to message me first.
It've been days since i smile, the real smile.
Disappointments, it hurts so deep. I know you prefer me not to post on my blog, but well. All these stuffs, I can say to no one else. No one is there. neither did you.






I hate the way I am posting now, I hate me crying. But well, I cant fake. anymore.

How much I love you does not matter.

Like -'-, I dropped to NA. I failed by just that few percent, I was so disappointed. Despite the fact that my mother was understanding, she didn't scold me when she knew about it, infact she still asked if i am feeling okay. With my swollen eye after the cried, I was not allow to go home, teachers claimed that I will do silly stuffs. Well, thank everyone for being there for me. people like shien li, gao qiang, elaine, nico and wei jie. love you guys. I will work hard next year, I promise.

It all looks different.

Like -'-, Now they said the results not confirm. Have to wait til tomorrow and I will know. ): Disappoint me.

Today I went to school, Like finally? Haha, :D
Didn't even enter the class room indeed, They first gave up prizes and theres guest came to our school. They made all of us stand up, wait for the guest to sit then we were allow to sit, Moron.
After that, The sec2-s （ according the passerby's tag, it was sec3, I dontknow either. )went to have their Last Sexuality Experience program, thats what teacher said. sec1-s went to have our inter house games. <3

At first our team played against one five, mean while me and other girls were screaming and cheering like hell loud. :D
I played against kennedy and his classmates after that. We lost.
I hate Mr Yee, He suck. They dropped the Frisbee and he didn't care, He said it was not counted when we already scored. -'-, His mother fly.
Had recess then, Face was so sticky due to sweating. ):
I went to wet my Uniform because I want to wear my PE attire. stupid i know.

got 40 minute recess and went to AVA room and amphitheater for some talk. It was boring, I bet sec2's (/sec3) is much more interesting. laughs,

Was supposed to go out with chuan shen and the rest, but well. They wanted to go to mac but I was too lazy to walk, sorry guys. (:
So, went tiong again with simin instead, Talk and slacked.

Simin left, accompanied wei jie and nico for their dinner.
Then both of them sent me home, Thanks love. (: <3

Tomorrow I will get back my report book, I am going to die. Very badly.

Unexpected.

I'm in a lousy mood currently, dont provoke me.
I'm so happy currently, Just heard a news that i am going to promote to EXPRESS. :D I know Its a lil bit crazy though. <3 but look, I am noooooot dropping! :D Just imagine.

Well well, met Jiamin at tiong today. Ate cheese burger, met caiyan and went Bugis street. <3 Caiyan so Hot today. LOl While we were on the way to Bugis, The platform there got 2CHIJ girls keep pointing and looking. Look i dont care, POINT YOU KNOW. -'- face.

walked around and bought.

I dont wear T-shirt so often now,But just look at this. Its so COOL can. the face. :D


This cost me only 10 dollar. And I think its sweet. <3


I decided to buy a bigger bag Instead of those Lil one, :D


Shorts. :D




Spent for about 60 Plus. :D
ate finished and backed to tiong, ate toktoko yaki. <3 it've been a really long time since i ate that. Jiamin and Caiyan left, I went to Cresent. :D Slacked and ate with boyf, Isk and leonard. Awhile and went home. <3



" Okay:) " I saw this most often in my inbox under your name. Did you notice that too? (:

disappointment ,

:D

went Tiong today, again. :D slacked while waiting for both weijie and nico come. :D
played, talked.
went to boyfriend's house around 5 30, because he dont have enough money to go anywhere. (: i was supposed to accompany him go cut his hair, but my damm brother didn;t bring his house key. ): so i went home early today. :D

Happy 3 month my baby. (:

-'- you. I am not that free to keep you entertain, when did I say I want to tio you. make people think that I'am that childish uh, even people without brain know I wont play this kind of game. Ya ya ya, told her you not happy with me want to one-on-one.
Its okay, I welcome.

Tiring

:D

so tired uh, didn't go out today. (:

Yesterday went to meet weijie, nico, loren and simin at playground.
slacked, talked and played poker. :D
after awhile Boyfriend came to look for me. :D the rest went to tiong, me and boyf bus-ed to Isk house downstairs, wait for him to bathed. :D

Then we bus-ed to queen's way. :D Isk went to pierced his nose, he damm nervous la. Haha, ate at hawker. bus-ed to purmei.
Kevin and Leonard came down. Talked, laughed.
Then played poker, awhile more yuanxiang came too. :D boyfriend cab me home, send to up just because I wore a tube today. -.- i shall wear tube everyday. LOl :D

to the one person, you mean the world.

People, :D i didn't go to school for a week already. ): Wanted to go today, but what the hell, i set the wrong alarm. it woke me up around 8.

woke up and went to tiong to meet Nico, WeiJie, Fanglin and simin. (: walked around at first, then slacked at playground there, time passed damm fast today. ): after awhile, Weijie went to work. Then we went hoswee buy cigarette.
on our way to Tiong, a CID stopped us. He brought us to a corner and asked alot of things. WeiJie's cigg, Simin's lighter was confiscated. Like what the hell, that lighter cost twenty bucks. And weijie's cigg still got 20sticks inside.
He talked to us for about one hour, but yes. he was nice enough for not bringing us to police station. (: and he thought i smoke-ed, haha. Fanglin left.
backed to tiong, looked for weijie for awhile. backed to playground, later simin left .
That nico didn't allow me to take 63 home, he let me bus to bukitmerah and bus back home instead. i cant believe i was so nice. Lol, but yea. at least he waited the bus with me and he missed 6buses. :D

TOMORROW I'AM MEETING WEEKIAT'S AUNTIE FOR LUNCH. Lol, i think i saw her before? (:

I've got fear. Fear that i would retain/drop.
I want to stay in express, But yes. Its really not easy for last mintute, I did studied hard, last minute. but my result disappoint me, whats with all the study i spent my time on? i got back the same thing. poor results, kill me.
I know i can blame no one. But yes, i only expect lil improvements. not passing with flying colours. But, Just look at my results, everything is the same.

forget it, i guess i would transfer if i really drop.

I screwed my exam. ):
woke up at six today, woke my brother up for school. then never sleep already.
around 12 plus went down to cresent, meet boyf, Jason, YuanXiang and Isk. :D
Joked around, Isk was being damm funny today la. He kept disturbing Jason :D waited for Isk to bath-ed, the bus-ed down to tiongBahru. :D
Went to think tank, Jason and boyf got their nose pierced. :) Lol, their expression before they pierced was damm funny. Jason's face was like, He is going for serious operation like that. Then boyf's was like he killed someone like that. I bet you will laugh if your were there. :D

Jason bought his shirt and we ate at kopitiam. :D
Met Simin, WeiJie, Mc and caiyan. talked and walked around. :D
We saw Ti-Ti-Da-Ti-Tu. (:
boyf they all left for cyrus, then we slacked at playground. (:
Bought cigg at ho swee, went tiong awhile more and saw Ti-Ti-Da-Ti-Tu again. :D

Went to Ho swee, accompanied weijie eat his dinner, sat with Raymond at first.
Then Claudia and Casselyn join in. :D
slacked awhile and went home with Simin. (:

I didn't go to school today. but i know my results from shien li,
i failed my home econ, but its expected. since i didnt bother revising anything before the exam.
But what the hell, I failed my maths. MATHS you know, i kept doing revision and all the bloody practice and i get a F9 back. like fuck. I did my best already, is not that i didn't bother about my studies at all right? I burned midnight oil everyday before the exam, but yea. i told my mum, and she was like you did your best already. I bet you teachers will think that i didn't study for exam and start talking, and go yadayadayada. Crap. I know I did my best, dont want to care already.

I want, to be happy.

messed with effects at photofunia. :D
and i realized something which i shouldnt. :D

nothing much to post about, since i didn't go out today.
anyway, i guess i will be getting my papers back tomorrow and i dont think i will be going school. :)

and my computer keep appeaing this thing telling me that my computer got infected and forcing me to install some stupid anti-virus which is virus itself. damm it la, ):

I'm afraid i cant tolerate anymore.
i dont like the way you talk to me now, i dont like your attitude.

my love for you, is deeper than anything elses.

Humans. :D
I know its kind of abnormal posting at this point of time, 6 30 am.
i just came back home uh. (:

went to meet elaine, kahweng and fanglin around 2 30pm at great world. :D
bought movie ticket for eagle eye. (: the movie was nice, :D although i dont really understand the story, pathetic uh.
after that, cab-ed back home. bath-ed and ate dinner, went out to meet peiqi, calvin, weijie and boyf at 9 30pm. :D rent pool table for 2hours. kind of fun uh, :D
took the last bus to tiong, boyf went home first. (:
accompanied peiqi to her house to change, and cab-ed down to cineleisure! :D
Kbox-ed! :DDDDDDD sang like crazy humans, my throat is pain la damm. ):
upload pictures next time k. <3
The bill was expensive, $105. thanks calvin for it k. <3
cab-ed back home around 5 30am. woke my brother up for school and now i am posting. :D

I PROMISE I WILL REPLY ALL THE TAGS K.

! :D damm tired uh. :D
boyf, peiqi, weijie and calvin is at my house now uh. :D

i slept around 7 30 today, around 9 plus. boyf came over and sleep, then meet simin at tiong at 11. :D ate and backed home at 3. :D

update again. :D

interesting.

i dont know why am i posting, again. its almost 5am and i am damm bored. ):
I cant sleep.
i ordered mac using my mum's Credit card. :D

oh oh and, sherlyn told me about Steven lim, that disgusting man who wore the yellow underwear on sing's idol. he called himself the most handsome living thing, he is desperate for rich women. he spent time to take a video because he have a stupid pimple on his neck. pathetic.

I am so bored, I dont feel like sleeping, I want to call someone. ):

Sing, for the moment.

Hi humans. :D
EXAM FINALLY OVER! damm happy la, and i forgot it was not holiday, yet. (:
I got my nose pierced. (: for fun actually. i might take it out, i dont know.
i pierced alot on ears and i let them closed, so yea. i might let my nose piercing close someday, :D

today morning woke up quite late. got prepared and went down cresent to meet yuanxiang, Jason and boyfriend at cresent. :D
talked awhile and we bus-ed down to haw paw village. looked around, joked around. :D
they took alot of photos with stupid actions. went back to cresent and talked, laughed.
then _______ happened. sigh, nevermind. such thing wont spoil our mood. :D
bus-ed down to cyrus, find Isk, leonard and kevin.

awhile then i bused back home. (:
mother went oversea, later boyf come my house find me. :D

I still do love you.

Left like super lot of blanks, especially in home econ. sigh,
i have to pass my maths paper tomorrow, I　MUST.
slacked with weiJie, weixiong, fanglin and kahweng.
after that with nico, navin, kenny and one more guy. :D
went home around 7. (:
oh and, i think boyfriend is coming over to find me now. Finally please.

I am going to have my nose pierce tomorrow. :DDDDDDDD!




i dont know is because of EOY-s, or is because of something else.
you just wont understand? i dont expect you to meet me everyday, once or twice a week and i am happy enough. I just expect, a few message. I just expect, you to care about me like how you used to.
baby you know. i'm not strong like what you think. i need you here.
I need your shoulder there when i cried but not my teddy, theres always shoulders waiting but you are just irreplaceable.
Do you even notice, the way you talk to me is so different now. i felt so pampered last time, but not anymore. I'm not thinking to much, I'm not being emotional, I'm not being sensitive,
I'm not showing my attitude for no reasons, they mean something.
we've never quarrel since 20July, i thought things would be perfect.
I dont mind you meeting you friends, i really dont. :) but yea, I just want you to thought about me, at least.
you know, i can just give up. i can choose not to care, i can choose not to cry.
but yes, I'm afraid i couldn't a hug as warm as yours.
I'm afraid i couldn't find a kiss which can melt me like how yours could.
I'm afraid i couldn't find someone let me feel this way, like how you let me.
But even though i'm learning to be strong, its not suppose to feel like this.
Even though things will change over time, Its not suppose to change in this way.
I'm already breaking down, i can't carry on. anymore.
I've been crying almost everyday, all alone.
baby, i dont know if you will see this. I dont know how am i suppose to tell you all this directly. i'm afraid that i would cry.
I tolerated, because it was your exam. I didn't want you to get distract, i want you to focus on your studies. that why, i am really sorry.

Boyf's speeecctttt.

Today's Geo nearly killed me, i forgot alot of stuff which i learned. ):
Nevermind, just two more days to go! :DDDDDDDDDDD

Today dismissed around ten, went off to tiong.
slacked at under bloc with kahweng, fanglin, simin, elaine and weixiong.
I kept burning papers, i think its kind of fun la okay. :DDDDD
after awhile, YongJie and casselyn came and they left within minutes.
slacked until six, was like. kept laughing today uh. :D

WeiJie supposed to come find me today, ): but he slept at home instead. ):

went home and went down redhill market, find willie and Feng hui.
ate dinner and came backed home. (:
I am off to study my science and HE. :DD!


i am giving me one more chance. i dont know why, its just so tiring.
well, few more days to go.
I really pray hard that things will change.

Goodbye my love

Peoplllleeeee! having digital art now.
haven't be updating my blog this few days, i couldnt connect to the internet for whatever reasons, plus. exammmm is commmiiinnngggg! :D

Been studying this few days, yes. (:
Oh and, Talked to DM during recess just now. :D We were like, discussed about
- green tea kill sperms.
- sperms = tadpole.
- He admit he is too old to produce any tadpole.
- he claims that Elaine will have baby when she turn 16.


anyway, will mia for exam. Will updateb blog soonnnn k, bye people.